The last Blog......

Well this is it, the final blog...I can't believe its actually done and dusted (the run that is)....Well I can in that I AM TIRED...physically I'm well exhausted and decided that writing this last blog versus heading out for a small jog is way more fun :) I figure one last try to squeeze some money for the Anna Foundation, then I think I am well and truly done and no more pestering you poor innocent folks!

The run is over, the money raised has been AWESOME...I'm really so blown away by the wonderful donations from so many of you out there. I personally was never one to respond to fundraising pleas, for me as a South African, I suppose it was not really in our culture, too many people were in need to be able to help...I never knew people did stuff like this until I met some Brits who did.....  I took part in the basic fundraising like kids do at school and stuff, but the thought of donating to charities or to organisations never really crossed my mind.  I personally am very sceptical about where the money often goes, it makes me angry to hear about millions being donated to areas and then seeing that the money has not been used appropriately....I have a belief that you teach a man to fish and it helps him more than giving him a fish if that makes sense??  Hence my want to work in education I suppose....ANYWAYS, as I have said before, this whole process was so very new to me, but I needed to do something, I, through some random thing called fate (I suppose) ended up doing this little thing I have done and WOW I'm a convert....Maybe I'm growing up and not being so stuck in my beliefs that charity money is 'always' used by the wrong people for the wrong reasons....I have also realised that well...its the normal people like myself who can help, take responsibility and help make changes in the world, the politicians sure are hashing up their jobs...even if what I do is small, its something and if more of us stepped up and did it I suppose all the small things create a bigger thing and walla before you know it, change occurs...the right people are helped, a cure is discovered...maybe I am wrong, I don't know, but yea, I'm a convert and I know this won't be the last time I do something like this.  There is also a huge element of self fulfillment in this process, so its not entirely unselfish either, I don't think I will ever be rid of my selfishness but well I can try be a better person I suppose ;)  

Now what has blown me away is that so many of you who have donated come from 'cultures' like mine where donating really is not done, its a new thing....so this has made me even more excited, you have all been so generous and well I suppose I'm just thrilled about it (cheesy I know!).... I know times are tight in most households these days and yet so many of you peeps have reached out and donated... Every cent will help towards making the future of a child in SA, who does not have the benefit of the education/wealth that we are used to, so much more possible, thank you.  Hopefully through this foundation, we are feeding into the next generation, doing our bit to make them a happy and educated and thoughtful bunch of peeps!!!!  

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

As of tonight the amount is R10 605 which is 608 Euros or £478 (to help you put it in perspective). Honestly what a thrill....There is still time to add to this amount...so PLEASE if you did not donate, but would have like to PLEASE click here and donate, every cent helps the Anna Foundation stay afloat and do the good they are doing!

Ok manipulation bit over....now about the last final crappy run....

As I was running on Saturday morning there were so many thoughts going round and round in my head, so many profound deep thoughts ...but now I have no idea how to end this blog in any way profound and deep, I really do not feel profound or deep tonight, just tired! It was a HARD run, it was a lonely run and well we have covered the topic of the 'huonosti-ness' of the weather and I reapeat it was very very 'huonosti'...but well, I committed to it, I had so many people commit to me and well..it had to be done....All I can say is thank goodness its over....Maybe next year I can actually get to Cape Town and do the run in style :) Standing amongst 16 000 runners rather ran standing by myself....At least I could have farted amongst a large group like that and gone unnoticed...whereas the little old man passing me did give me a bit of a glare as I set off!!

Here is the route I ran, taken from my Polar watch...21.5kms in 2 h 40 mins....Slow, but considering I walked a large part of the last 3kms, I am more than pleased with this time.

Me (if you did not recognise the very porno outfit by now) at the start, still smiling and very cheerful and chirpy!! I set out just before 9 am after looking at the dire weather forecast for the morning.....My husband joined me as I set off, he was the 'race official' for the day.

I was very surprised, but happy to see my next 'race official' not too far into the run. I had kind of told everyone I did not want support as I was worried I would not manage and well the weather was crappy and I gave a few very good reasons why they should not bother coming out....however, 'fix it lady K' managed to meet me along the first loop around Pykkosjärvi and take some pics and just provide some encouragement. 

For the next pic if you look closely you can see my hump...Basically I had a hydration pack on, worn under my coat, I have never had the joy of seeing just how silly it looks (thank goodness), no wonder people stare at times!! I now feel like I could be renamed the hunchback runner of Oulu...Yet another reason to look forward to warmer weather and being able to wear 'normal' running gear in sensible ways. I just clearly am never going to look like the suave Finnish runners I see out there! Please note even though it was miff weather, I only had to wear the porno pink winter gloves about 5ks into the run and not the woolen gloves over them at any stage :) So really it was rather warm...

Halfway through I was met again by the lads...my sons first question after looking around for the other runners was...Are you the last runner mom?! Nothing like a little boost when you need it....Got to love my son...He then told me he was VERY bored and would I please hurry up. Pressure pressure....

Heading over the bridge and river onto Toppilansaari.. My favorite harbour, I think I have posted pictures of this section many times over these past few months, usually im feeing euphoric by this section of my run...anticipating the gorgeous views to come...however on Saturday this spot was when I started to feel the distance and the tiredness began to creep in....negative thoughts started creeping in at this stage for me....

Then it got tough...very very hard....the body was tired...the mind was tired and I wanted it over...the thoughts going through my mind by this time were too wicked to dare repeat....Shall we say I have a rather fruity vocabulary ;)

The grey lonesome scenery did not really help the enthusiasm at this stage of the run...so along with the sleet/rain and wind the last few kms were really tough. I had to get my extra rain jacket from my husband and wear it for the last part over my already soaking porno green one, I did not have the energy to change jakets, I figured more layers would not hurt at this stage....I also have to admit that the last 3 kms were a lot of walking and a little bit of running...I just ran out of steam and vavoom.....So I figured, rather just finish than totally give up...so I walk/ran...

The last 200m were very exciting... as I crossed the final 'robot' (Traffic light for non-South Africans) I saw my husband and son waiting and then realised so too were 'fix it lady K' and my 'personal trainer E'.... It was lovely.  I could hear the South African National anthem as well! It all looked so very official/like the end of a 'real' race and was fantastic I HAD DONE IT and not been alone in my craziness either.

Now not only were they all there, I was awarded with a medal that had been made and sent over from the UK for this very run of mine.....THANK YOU C. It will be treasured...(I will not hand it over to my little magpie who has not stopped asking if he can have it!) 

What was just so perfect was that during the run I had been contemplating contacting the two oceans office in SA and asking if there was any ways I could get a medal even though what I had done was nothing official or in South Africa. No need to now, I have my very own personalised medal for my efforts, which to be honest is even be more special due to the thought and care that had gone into it...... brilliant....

I was presented my medal by my son along with a very cool blanket with the Finnish flag on.

I feel this picture makes me look very royal and I don't know maybe I do have some royal blood flowing through my veins....but well, it shows my awesome medal and just the relief I was feeling that it was over with!!!!!!!!

Normally before a run, I suffer a bit of nerves, but nothing like I felt the days leading up to this little run...For some reason I felt so much more nervous/anxious/worried than I normally do...I think it was the sheer 'responsibility' of it all...I had set out to do something, promised people I would do it, harrassed them to the point that they even dared to sponsor me to do it and then the reality of what I had done set in. I've run a few marathons, half marathons, man I've even cycled across Thailand on 'the Iron Horse', I know im strong, but NEVER has it been for anything more than the sheer pleasure of it, selfish and indulgent and fun, but no pressure at all...However with this run it was different, It was NOT just for me. Along with this realisation came the worry about not coming through, that maybe I had over sold myself and my ability...maybe it was too much thinking I could train over the winter, I knew I could have done more...I don't like to promise something and not go through with it, especially if it affects other people, I have done it too much over the last few years, I did NOT want to let them down. So I was worried I would not get it done, that I would let people down......So when I got to this point (ie the royal wave), I think the relief that I had actually gone through with it, regardless of having to change the plan constantly throughout the process, the relief that I was done and could see the people who had been my support from the start waiting for me at the end...what a relief!!!

A special thanks to my wonderful little family, my husband and son...My dear man had rushed around Oulu all morning with a sulky, bored kid to take photos of his crazy wife...carrying extra clothes and supplies in case.....To 'Fix it lady K' for being there from the very first email and being my first sponsor, saying I could do it from the first day...To my 'personal trainer E', just for the support and belief in me...You are a wonderful woman and I so appreciate you having been on pretty much most of my runs with me here in Oulu. You may not know it but you provided the support I needed at the very start of this whole process in terms of running very slowly with me and never making me feel like I was barking up the wrong tree!!!!!!! You kept me going during last years Terwa Kymppi and that HORRENDOUS weather on that day too...and for this run, there you were too...Thank you...

Now not forgetting this was Easter Weekend, I finished the day off at a traditional Finnish KOKKO - a massive motherf*** bonfire that is burnt each easter in Finland....I like to think this photo depicts 'the spirit of the fire' clapping her hands in thanks that the run was over and I could relax now :) (or something cool like that...)

So anyways, here ends this particular journey...Thank you to all of you who have actually trawled through this blog as I've done it (and we all know how I waffle and how horrendous my grammar and typing really is!)...the whole process of raising money, of keeping a blog of trying to not give up has been for me, a real lesson....It has made me realise (possibly remember) I too can make a difference, its pointless sitting around waiting for someone else to stand up and take the initiative, OR to sit around waiting for the time when I will get to fulfill my life long dreams...I'm now a grown up, if not now, WHEN??? 

If I want the world to change, well I best get busy, if I want to my son to grow up to be a citizen of the world I can be proud of, well its my job to do it first, to set an example on how its done.....Rather enlightening as IT IS a lot easier to sit down and feel very sorry for myself... I have done a lot of that over the past few years...I'm tired of it!

My battle with my depression and accepting my life as it is now continues. I try to do it day by day and make sure I do not forget the bigger picture, im one of the very lucky and blessed people in the world, I can not forget this.....For me this is going to be a lifelong battle, running I fear is never going to be easy, I mean come on I've two companions who follow behind me where ever I go, but well being a traditionally built lass from South Africa, some things are inevitable.....I will never run in the Olympics!! Butt (haha) I can run for me and for my health.

What a thrill to be able to say I did it..I fecking ran throughout the Finnish winter and I ran a 21km run in the crappiest conditions I could have imagined...AND I managed to raise over R 10 000 for a cause I always have dreamed of being involved with in the process...The support of so many of you really made it even more worthwhile...I realised no matter where in the world I am, I'm still surrounded by special and awesome peeps..WOOHOO like I say, I'm a lucky lass!

As we say in Finland KITTOS KITTOS...

Last chance to donate to a VERY WORTHY CAUSE .

If you still reading, WOW, you sure have staying power....

LOL Bales

Huonosti ja Kaunis .......

No text, just some pics...to aid learning of the Finnish language..Huonosti & Kaunis...you figure out what it means ;)

So this is apparently NOT snow according to my son!!

What happens is the snow, stones, salt and sand mix...
and then as the sun shines, the parts where the stones are melt and all these bizzare peaks and funky shapes develop...
I always think of scenes from Lord of the Rings...UGLY in a most fascinating way

Sections of the paths at the moment are still heavily iced  while other sections dry and dusty covered with stones.
These parts are hard to manouever ones way through...Notice the brown piles of 'not snow' on the sides

Look closely to see how it melts and weird shapes form..

Blue skies and white snow....Gorgeous...

This is the scary stuff...
water melts from the sides which when covered by shade turns slowly back to ice...
which is VERY VERY slippery

So ugly its beautiful!!!!!

Beautiful....Some fishermen enjoying the sun and beauty of my favorite route in Oulu

Do I need to introduce my boats again???

So there you go...

Bad & Beautiful all at the same time.....

Only 3 days left....Come on, sponsor me.... 

The final countdown...

Well its 6 days and counting....At first it seemed so far in the future.....and well now its one week to go and as always happens before a big event or test or something, the feeling of 'I'm not ready...i'm not ready' is what i'm feeling sitting here typing this blog...

This time (as with all the previous times ;) I really do feel like i'm not ready.....I've spent 2 of the 3 last weeks not running due to my body failing me.....so I have not managed the training in the final lead up to the race.....I wanted to have done (should have done) an 18km this past weekend, but well I have had a chest problem (not a 'breast = chest' problem....but the other chest!!!)....and it really knocked me, today is the first day i'm feeling like I can try run again but no ways will I do an 18k...I have felt like poo and so has my mood because of it....BUT well, today I feel good and think I will attempt a small run...so the feeling of not being ready is rather well justified I believe....Im just hoping that the training BEFORE the last 3 weeks is enough to keep me going for the full 21kms.

The word 'huonosti' in our household  is used to describe the state of my sons underwear or tshirts when they are tucked in badly and irritate him (i'm not too sure about it being a proper Finnish word though )...as in: 'my underpants are HUONOSTI', usually followed by a tantrum and tossing of toys out the cot, leading up to a 30 minute discussion of why the underwear are huonosti and how we can sort out the situation before heading out the door if we are lucky....and I have to confess, I feel a little like that about the having to go run at the moment ...as in : 'the weather is HUONOSTI'...  Its actually magnificent, its sunny and the sky is a gorgeous blue and we have light till way after 6pm again, so in a general sense its magnificent......BUT for some freaking reason its gotten really cold again and I don't want it to be cold or windy and it is...i'm done with cold and wind and slippery ice, I want to run in minimal clothing, be warm and enjoy it, not worry about cold winds and that is NOT part of the weather at the moment.....the thought of putting on ALL my clothes and sticking my nose outside to have it freeze off and then get all sweaty and then have the cold wind blow and then and then.....hehe so can you see why the weather is huonosti ??!!

Anyways, I think its just because I have had so much 'time off' running and I have become soft over the past few weeks.....I need to sort myself out and just get out there again and suck it up.....I need to work on my SISU and toughness....

Just to give an idea of much ice there can be in sections I want to share a pic of a car that is parked in our parking lot and not moved (ever!).....in showing you this I am trying to garner some support in my misery and the huonosti-ness of the weather...but if you look closely at the wheel of the car you will see just how deep it is embedded in the ice........

I've made it extra big just in case you did not feel my pain :)

So anyways, I suppose I need to stop procrastinating and go get dressed, ge outside and ENJOY the fact that I am healthy, the sun is shining and I am going to have reached the goal I set all those months ago by this time next week...........

Here is the final route for my run....I'm actually not sure when I will run it as I am going to watch the weather.....I feel I will be best served if I run it on the best weather day possible....as in warmest/least wind as I think it will not be my best time yet .... so I need to make sure I can do the time outside without dying from being a frozen sweat ball...As always i'm following the weather app closely.....but chances are Saturday 10 am will be the time and day....A the moment the weatherapp says otherwise, but i'm being ever hopeful that by next week the weatherman has come around and decided its going to be a glorious sunny, windless morning :)

Now if you have not donated yet...FEEL FREE to click HERE and share the love...you know you want to!!!!!!!

Random mumblings......

Well its 15 days to go....I've just taken a week off running...not the best time to do it I suppose, but to be honest I have also learnt over the years that when the running stops being good, I need to stop....I suffer from UTIs, a fairly common issue with women and running. Years ago before I knew about these sorts of things, I forced myself to run my first long run (30K) I think it was, but I had been feeling bad for a while, the running had not been enjoyable for a few weeks......I did the run, but I basically stopped after that run....Lesson learnt.  So this time around, I could feel the body was not happy and I took a bit of time off and some antibiotics.

I ran yesterday and today, small runs, I figure I may as well not go wild here, ease into it.  My body was saying NO, my mind was saying GO.....then my mind was saying NO and my body was saying GO...backwards and forwards non stop.....till eventually I screeched, stop stop...just go bales just go, smalls one are the easiest and may be more enjoyable...you have no choice, its nearly the half!!  I do wish I was one of those persons who has this absolute LOVE of running in that, I cant wait to put my shoes on and get out every day....but alas, there is a body/mind fight happening most runs these days. I know for my mind its the way to go, but man my body is VERY VERY resistant to the whole idea...even after all these years. 

My strategy was decided on how to go about getting back into it and I have the next few weeks schedule sorted so I do the best I can on the 26th... 3 smaller ones then the weekly long run which I missed out on last week...I figure my body will be much happier if I ease back into it.  So 2 smaller ones done and I will do one more tomorrow, the mind body angst is not as intense tonight, so here is to hoping the chatter is minimal tomorrow and Sunday.  The runs were ok, not brilliant, but then again not bad either.....

The weather is back to the November/December slush,
so its a bit challenging again in terms of slippery

I do feel like i'm slowing down though.  Just before the states trip and my time over there, I really felt like I was going strong, I felt like I was improving...but well.....I now feel like i'm just going really slowly again (and my watch tells me I am o :).  I am telling myself that I have just finished a course of antibiotics....the science tells that they can affect you, but you know how it is.  You put in the time, you want the results...usually there is a positive improvement...hehe Gees i'm a demanding bat!!!!!!!

But yea, there is a hope that in tomorrows run it will be back to feeling like an olympic athlete and push myself....but I have to be patient I suppose...my body, like my mind does not always do as I want.....

Well besides not feeling like an olympic athlete all is going a lot better here....We have just managed to get an offer on our flat.  Still waiting for the final details, but really hoping all goes well.  I can not describe the relief.....It means we are moving forward.  I have felt like life has been on hold for so long and all the anxiety that goes with it has been tremendous......So one step closer to a new chapter in my life in Finland.  We now need to find somewhere in Helsinki, but there are things coming up for sale continuousl..I wont bore you with the details except that its SOOOOOOOO expensive down there, its terrifying...O MY GOODNESS, the cost of something the same size as ours is almost 3 times as much!! That is a heck of a lot of euros...but well its how it is, others survive, somehow we will too.....PLUS I've had a job offer.....  Its not what i'm trained for, and I have to admit the hours are LONG and the work is HARD...its a daycare teachers job....In Finland i'm not actually suitably qualified for that job, so I didnt think they would even consider me, but this daycare seems to think I have other things to offer them...and to be honest I love little kids, they just terrify the heck out of me...a mass of wild small peeps for 8 hours a day....Will I survive??!!  BUT i'm looking at it like, its a foot in a door, its still working with kids and really that is my passion...I wont have homework to mark, tests to grade etc etc...and hopefully it will open up other doors eventually...but my gawd I will be exhausted after each day ;)  So here is to the next step in my mission to lead a life less conventional I suppose (??!!) ... Ok I lie, I have bugger all choice here, no one else seems interested and well i'm freaking bored not working and I figure it should be good for a giggle.....me wiping the asses of kids other than my own and doing the warthog dance for a room of 4 year olds!!  Watch this spot for details....

Final mumble...Now as I said at the start of this blog there are only 15 days left of this particular mission, and I really want to put the pressure on you to sponsor me.....There are there 3 guys in SA who have just raised a huge amount of money for the foundation in South Africa.  They did this most amazing beach walk, totally jealous of it, in terms of how amazing it was/looked...the coast in SA is stunning and the weather looked just perfect, I once did a walk like this as a school girl, man it was fun........I know this link is a Facebook Page, but I cant find any other page online where you can see details and pictures from it. Open their page and see the pictures of their adventure ....stunning!! These men have done an amazing job of raising a huge amount....So the point of my blurbing this all out is to ask those of you who have no supported me to now sponsor me...COZ...how can three old farts raise more than me??!!  We cant have this, we cant...so click here and donate folks....We got to deal with this problem in less than 15 days...cant let 3 old farts do better than me?!!  YALLA YALLA is all I can say, help me deal with my competetive edge :) Its sitting at R5300 now...BUT I know you all believe in me and this foundation is doing awesome stuff for the next generation....So donate now and do your bit for the good of mankind..and help ease my competitive issues too ;)

Ok manipulation over..Wont you be thrilled when this is over with ;)

Ok wait, one more attempt sponsor me....since I have not stopped running in these awful conditions:

So soon so soon.....

Well I have not really had much to say lately as really its been pretty much day to day stuff going on here.....I've been running, but they have been hard runs....my biorhythms have not been at their peak shall we say :)  I've kept going...I think knowing that the 26th is so near along with the fact that im going to set out and do it on my own, versus with a crowd in SA is a bit sad I suppose...I was so excited to go home, enjoy the sun, enjoy the happy people and well...see my family....SOOOO maybe that is why my steps have not been as light and fluffy as they were a few weeks ago ;)

Anyways, such is how life goes....Im still running and will be doing an 18K this coming weekend....that is what it was all about for me really....to keep myself moving through the dark months and I DID I DID I DID..I STILL AM TOO...I can now truly say I have run through a full winter in the cold and dark of Northern Finland.....(its still cold, but the dark has gone!!) ....My running gear and getting ready is not nearly as much of a nightmare and I don't spend 45 minutes getting ready to leave the door anymore....Its enjoyable to get ready to get out now....

100 layers of clothing, including reflective gear ...

to two layers on top, leg warmers and
 NO reflective gear necessary :)

So yes, we have light and I have achieved both the goals this little mission was started for...I keep moving and I raise money for the kids back home.

As this little goal draws to an end though I suppose i'm feeling a little bit of an anticlimax... disappointment ... something.  Possibly why I've not had much to say as all I can think is ok...so what next?  I want to keep raising money for the kids back home as I realise that I can do it....I never thought I would reach my goal that I set initially, but I did...I fleeced my mates and I felt no guilt as I know that the Foundation is a good one......I will run the half in 4 weekends time, and I will make it....A lot is going to depend on the weather on the day I have to say....Its so variable at the moment, but regardless I will finish the run...so yea....what now....

Its been a year since I started this process of sorting myself out....My beautiful brave cousin Lindy died in July last year, I want to commemorate her bravery and the impact her death had on my life in some way....but it needs to be something that challenges me, challenges my body and makes me remember how lucky I am to be alive and surrounded by those I love, something I think she would be proud of......Her impact on me was to get me moving, running, something I have always enjoyed, So, i've scoured the running races around July and well...as I said before, I want to end up running comrades one day in my fathers number (he is another hero of mine as I often point out)....its an ultramarathon.....I know I cant do it this year, that kind of a run takes many years of building ones strength and endurance......But I have signed up for a marathon here in Oulu at the end of May...I have looked at training schedules, I can do it....I wont win it or break speed records, but I can push my body to the point that I am able to run the distance and enjoy it (well as much as one can enjoy that sort of thing)...

BUT the reason I have signed up to the marathon is because I have found a trail race that makes my heart beat fast....way up in Lapland, on some hectic mountain range thingie....I have always loved hiking, long hikes, 5 day hikes in the Mountains in South Africa or Swaziland were for me the most fun ever....I enjoy outdoors, I enjoy physical challenges, like the cycle ride I did a good few years ago for however many days from Bangkok to Phuket on the iron horse (my not so light mountain bike!) with not much training...I don't know i'm strange, but those sorts of things excite me and I revel in them..I feel alive, I love seeing how far I can push myself physically...I've not had that in so long and I have missed it....Looking at the race page and the terrain and everything I could find out about it...I've decided this is it...This is what I will do in honor of my brave cousin...It seems so stupid saying it, as I will be doing it for me too as I love it.....But for me, she got me moving when I needed it.....her bravery got me to take a few small steps, her will to never give in or loose hope....which led to more and more steps....and well here I am now able to consider a marathon and then something even more exciting than a marathon...

So needless to say, watch this spot for details...I'm not sure if I will use that run as a way to raise money for the foundation...I think I need to think about a new audience to fleece as you lot are all fleeced out ;)  hehe I'm just not sure how to go about it...But then I was not sure I could even do this one, and I have, so I figure I will find a way!!

PLEASE donate to my current cause if you have not already.......Click Here to donate, there are only 21 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here is to the next challenge being proposed before the first one is fully over...

Here are some pics of just how lovely it is at the moment here in Oulu....We are doing a lot of time outside as a family, and the joy of it being light at 6pm is amazing....who needs darkness??!!

My cross training session last weekend..Sledding....
My son is rushing up the hill for his next 'fix'

Our evening stroll last night...some speed skaters at our local ice rink.....it was after 6pm and still light!!!!!!